When the face you have been staring into with grins and goosebumps turns into that of a monster. When the hands you have been enjoying to clasp burst into flames and burn your own. When the lip you have been kissing grows proboscis and sucks your blood dry. When the chest you have been hugging with fondness pushes you hard and you fall with a thud. When your hope of a blissful future turns into a painful eternity…
Attraction is a natural law of socialization. Everyone needs some amount of attraction in order to be comfortable doing certain things, keeping a certain job, being in certain places or keeping certain people as friends or acquaintances. Without this subtle yet powerful law, all you engage in will soon turn out to be meaningless and worthless regardless of how dazzling and cherished they are right now.
Stop forcing yourself into a clique you are not attracted to. Stop trying to fit into a job which doesn’t satisfy you and which you don’t enjoy doing. Stop trying too hard to love people when the natural attraction jar between you and them is only emptying down rather than filling up. Stop trying to study a course that you have no attraction to, only to please your parents and professors, because they want to be proud of you when you finally hold that title.
Listen, you would rather die, than live a lie. Be real. The greatest form of betrayal is that committed against self. When you betray yourself, you have only yourself to blamebecause you had better options on your hand but you consciously chose the wrong one. Sooner or later, the friends you were trying to please by staying on in an abusive relationship will be all gone. The relatives you were struggling to do their will, will soon leave you to your own devices when you are already shattered in a love triangle or smashed in a pitch-dark emotional abyss.
The Advisors-In-Chief who opened pages of “Relationship 101” for you day and night, will run short of lies, their prophecies will be nullified by time, their theories will cease to hold. Then they will block your communication channels. You will feel like dying after realizing just how cold this world can get. All these because you were not real in the first place. You were living your life to please others who sadly, didn’t have your best interest at heart.
With all these, where then is the place of advisability? Should we be headstrong and ignore every voice that cautions us and every instruction that we receive? Nay! This is where discretion comes in. Exercise discretion with caution and fearful obedience to God, especially when you know what God’s express will is, in such a situation.
You will be branded a few names here and there for it. Some ugly rumors will run across social media of you being a heart breaker, indecisive, ungrateful, tough headed, proud and evil. You will be ostracized by your family, discriminated against by your friends and maligned by those you held most dearly to you. But that is just fine, because it is both a phase of growth and a learning curve.
During this phase, you need to keep your pen and note pad closest to you. Don’t let a lesson go un-learnt. Here you will unlearn to learn. You will sift and shift. You will acquaint and quit. But when you are done, you will be the best version of you: bold and strong, wise and knowledgeable. You will be ready to face the world.
See you in the next article!